The Trick To Life

By Robert Daniel

What forces that first step, when you first go travelling or make that first big decision at life’s major crossroads?

For me it was when I'd left school and worked for about a year and a half. I was going to travel, but began to drift and get into a comfort zone. Then the guy who owned the business came in and said, 'We have to start talking about your pension scheme Rob, for when you retire."

The Earth tilted.

At lunch I went into town and bought a tent, sleeping bag, backpack and a train ticket to Paris for that night, then went back to work and handed in an instant notice.

The next day I was outside Paris with my thumb in the air, with a bottle of red win, lump of cheese, a French loaf, an apple and a bar of chocolate in my bag. I walked passed over a hundred people hitching and got to the back of the line, turned and the first car that passed, stopped and picked me up.

That whole decision, choice process, finally led me to Australia seven years later. Providence stepped in and led the way.

The evening before I caught the train, I nearly didn't. It was so hard to leave the house, my family, my comfort zone, but that first step was magic, because the second was easier, and after that it was just adventure.

Nothing compares to that sense of total freedom. For some it drives them insane, but for me the not knowing what’s going to happen or where I’m going to be, or even where I am, from one moment to the next is the most exhilarating feeling I have found.

Twenty-one years later I am still in Australia, but see it as still part of the trip. I have two wonderful teenage children, a marriage that sadly didn’t work but one that most definitely is working and a long list of successes and interesting learning curves we wont call failures. Businesses, jobs, adventures, life, and all because I took that first step out of the house.

People like to plan their future, but the planning can stop them from getting to where they really want to be. With a plan there is often little room for the unexpected, and life is all about the unexpected.

Sitting back and waiting for things to happen the way you want them is a recipe for dying sad and full of regrets. There is no second-guessing the Universe. We have no idea what’s going to happen once we make the step to where we want to be, because Providence will step in as well and lead us to places we never dreamed.

And what may seem the worst possible luck, often leads to the best possible outcome.

I fell down a donkey track on a Greek Island and fractured my ankle. It was agony, and the injury swelled up so I couldn’t put any weight on it. 27 years later it’s still swollen.

I’d been running to meet a boat, as in return for free accommodation, food and copious amounts of wine the old lady of the house asked me to meet all the ferries and bring paying customers back to her ‘Rooms For Let’ in the village.

This was a great deal, but I was late and ran instead of walked down a donkey path. For an hour I lay there, missing all the big ferries carrying thousands of people, before finally hobbling to the port and watching a tiny, twenty person ferry pull alongside the jetty.

A girl walked off, and I asked her if she wanted a room. She said yes, and as a result I travelled to Australia four and a half years later to visit this girl for a holiday, and ended up staying. We didn’t stay together, but we still see each other sometimes, and our children have been in the same class together for most of their schooling. If I hadn’t fallen over, this simply wouldn’t have happened. I would have gone in another direction.

Life is full of these twists and turns. Full of ‘what if’ moments that if we thought about them, would send us crazy and paralyse us into not moving – in case we got it wrong.

But there is no ‘wrong’. There is what works and what doesn’t work sure, but right and wrong, these are concepts we’ve made up and we’re the only species to do it.

We’re the only species that do a lot of things that maybe it shouldn’t. Our planet is in crisis because of our actions, but this is just an example of what works and what doesn’t, if only we’d learn!

The secret is so simple. We are in charge of our lives in that we get to choose whether to live a life of doing, or watching other people do. Living a life of fear, of worrying about what others will think or believing a lifelong belief we made up about not being good at or able to do what we want, is a choice we make. It isn’t forced upon us.

I have been privileged recently to work with a small group of severely disabled children and their families. I have been humbled, touched, moved and inspired by who these people are and I swear, I will never take ANYTHING I do for granted again.

For all our complaining about what is and isn’t right about our lives and the world, these children cannot do anything for themselves, yet they smile, they laugh in spite of the fact their brains are functioning just like ours and they can think, reason, dream and imagine just like us, but they cannot ‘do’. Many cannot communicate in any way.

If you’re dreaming about doing something, take the first step and try not to have pre-conceived ideas of what it will all look like. It’s all about the first step, and having the courage to make it AND accept; to go with whatever comes next.

And the trick to life is simple. Find whatever it is you’re passionate about. If you don’t know, go on a quest to find out. Try everything until you find it.

And you’ll know when you do, because your heart will race faster, your tummy will turn and there will be a zithering sensation through your body that you get from nothing else. It’s the thing that makes you jump out of bed in the morning and cant wait to get started on.

If you don’t have this now, then change. Life is a stunning adventure in which we take the lead. And then – it’s over.

Take the step, hold on tight, and don’t forget to breathe and enjoy the moment.

Rob Daniel is a children’s author and presenter, who visits schools to run workshops in creative writing, memory and self-esteem. He also runs a creative writing online studio at: http://www.chocmint.com for aspiring writers and illustrators of all ages. Rob is also doing his TEFL course to teach English overseas because it provides him with both his passions. Travelling, and making a positive difference to young people.